If you are reading this, I wanted to also let you know that your response came at a very bad time. I reacted a bit too strongly, but didn’t have the technology to fix it after I posted it.

Please know your kind thoughts are very much appreciated, it was just a really shitty week of everyone trying to tell us why Rob was not getting what he needs, for one reason or another, with none of them making sense.

– XXO, Ellyn

I’m shocked by your response. Nice try to fob off mediocre Dutch medical care on language. I’m sure there are some right wing Americans who also believe in denying health care to people with a foreign partner — is that what you are saying? I don’t think so, and think that you mean that you have to fight the bastards all the way….

Robert J. Pit is asking for care that he is not receiving. Even with his father and sister writing letters in perfect Dutch, we get nowhere. They are simplistic, nihilistic, and just plain anti-therapy for anyone who does not fit neatly into a box.

It is absolutely clear why this medical system works the way it does — because people in this society accept it, don’t question it, and thus perpetuate it. Bad care is bad care, and I should not need to speak a language well or be intelligent for my husband to receive it.

You confirmed my worst fears when you say that “Heliomare is the best place in the country for him to be”, because that makes it obvious that this is the best that The Netherlands can offer, which I already suspected. Pretty sad.

I now know I have to bring him home and take him out of this country for a proper diagnosis and plan for his rehabilitation. We have never received even that here, and I am afraid for him, you, me, and anyone else who may need proper care here. A stroke is a stroke in any country, language, etc. Why should The Netherlands be so different?

Sorry for the harshness, but this response, like much of what I have seen lately, has completely knocked me off my feet.

Ellyn

You see, your dutch is perfectly fine for someone who speaks good english. To a nurse or gym teacher whose english is ´highschool´, you sound like someone less intelligent than your truly are. There is no depth to their undertsanding you.
It’s not easy to say this, but language is the barrier in getting understood.
Heliomare is the best place in the country for him to be, but slowing them down can be necessary. As I know from someone who also rehabilitated there. Just slam on the brakes, stop all action and don´t let them proceed till YOU feel everybody is on the same page.
Good luck!
XDorien

A couple of days later I was passing out every time I stood. Finally I called my cardiologist in tears asking for help. He came in took me off all the meds, gave me a bolus of blood and fluids and I was fine. Except all the screwing around had cost me a week of rehab.

I came to realize that rehab people forget what you have been through and treat you like your at camp or something, Your not there to play croquet, your are there to relearn how to live, at your own pace! Maybe you need to have some of Rob’s medical people intervene and help the gym teachers (Ellie, you may have to translate what I mean) understand that he did not have a knee replacement or other quick procedure but that he needs slow strengthening, not a track and field coach. It took him 23 weeks to get there, they might need to exhibit some patience and give him some time to come round a bit.

I love you guys, Rob is there someone from your days in ICU (Ellie?) that can help to reset their agenda a bit? Call for help, anybody?
–
Love you, Brad

Rob – Please don’t lose heart – you have so many people pulling for you and wishing you well! Maybe your “American mom” needs to come and have a few words with someone there!

LOVE TO BOTH OF YOU (AND JANSEN TOO OF COURSE) -I REALLY MISS ALL OF YOU!

warm regards,
Isabelle